Self Motivational Means Never Giving Up

Posted on November 29th, 2009 by admin in Self Techniques

How can I motivate myself? Are you still asking that age old question? To be self motivational you need to adopt a new mindset from the one that has you asking that question “how can I motivate myself?” If you are asking this question of yourself then you are more likely to be the type that will readily quit when things go wrong. If things go wrong do you find yourself saying things like. “I knew it would never work” “Things never work out for me” “No matter how hard I try it never seems to happen for me”. If you find yourself using this type of internal talk realise that you are telling your subconscious that there is a state of permanency here which you can’t get out of. And as you should know by now if you have been reading any of my postings, what you tell your subconscious it sets about to make a reality for you.

If you are a self motivational person then how you motivate yourself is by seeing an underlying cause for what has gone wrong which you can act on and achieve better results. For that is the mindset that you must adopt. That is, when things go wrong you don’t see that as a failure that it is just a result which you didn’t want. See it as feedback which you can use in answering the question “How can I motivate myself?” If you have looked at Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) at all you will realise that this is what they call reframing. You can either put it in a frame and call it failure or you can put it in another frame and call it a different result from what you wanted. As a child when you were learning to walk and you fell over for the nth time, neither you or your parents said “OK that’s it you’ll never do this walking thing might as well give up and just crawl on your hands and knees for the rest of your life!” No you took the feedback about balance and foot placement and quite rapidly really mastered the art. Why then as adults if we fail to lose weight we say “diets don’t work for me” instead as self motivational people say “yes I still ate too much last week and didn’t get out jogging enough for me to attain the result I wanted” Similarly in the current climate some of you may be applying for jobs and getting many rejections. If you are saying “I’ll never get another job” then you probably won’t. If you are saying “how can I try a different field, improve my resume or my interview skills” then you will achieve the result you desire and you will have learned how to motivate yourself in many other areas of your life.

If you want some more support to be self motivational take a look at my own self motivational booklist of authors who have helped me along the way.

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How to Motivate Yourself

Posted on October 20th, 2009 by admin in Self Techniques

The simple answer to how to motivate yourself is to decide what you want, decide what is the price you have to pay to achieve it, then accept that you have to pay that price. A simple answer but not an easy solution. However in essence that is what you need to do if you are going to motivate your self and be the success you want to be. However when I say this to my coaching clients it usually strikes fear into their hearts. I often say that is not a problem. If you want to know how to motivate yourself fear can be a useful ally. Fear can often drive us to use our inner resources more effectively and achieve more than if we sit cosily in our comfort zone.

How can you use fear to motivate yourself rather than create a state of paralysis? If you are scared of heights then the worse thing you can do is to look down. To motivate yourself you look straight ahead, appreciate the view and focus on where you want to go not on where you don’t want to go. Many people have a fear of failure which is nothing to do with falling and ultimately dying. It is often just a fear of being embarrassed when they don’t succeed at something. Therefore if they want to try and achieve something, they keep it to themselves and don’t tell anyone. Thus if they don’t succeed it doesn’t matter nobody ne they were trying. Two points here. One is if they were only “trying” it was unlikely they would succeed. The second point is by not being accountable to anyone they didn’t need worry about trying very hard. So make this fear work for you, declare to others what you intend to achieve and that will drive you make sure you take the appropriate actions. However make sure you declare your intentions only to those who are likely to support and not those who would seek to undermine you.

Very often when we are not sure how to motivate ourselves it is because we see only the barriers in our way to achiving what we desire. In this situation we must go back to the goal we want to achieve and ensure that we are clearly focused on its meaning and what the achievement of it will look like. Remember obstacles are what you see when you take your eye off your goal. If you want any more ideas on how to motivate yourself take a look at my self motivational booklist.

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Self Motivational Way to Control Inner Voices.

Posted on August 10th, 2009 by admin in Self Techniques

Our inner voices by default are usually negative and as such have quite an impact on us. Self motivational people know how to manage these inner voices to stay positive in their outlook.

Very often these inner voices are taking us back to a previous negative incident and constantly serving it up for us to view and relive the experience. As they are viewed repeatedly they are magnified and made to appear even worse than the original incident. They are continually feeding us that if we try things we will fail and so we become almost paralysed to take any action. Sometimes these voices don’t relate to any previous activity they are just there sapping our confidence to be able to take action and achieve our goals.

Self motivational people have great ways for dealing with these inner voices. One of the quickest and best ways to deal with them is to change the sound of them. Remember it’s your head you do have control of that space between your ears. So when you are replaying one of these negative sessions change the pitch of the sound up or down. Make it sound like a silly cartoon voice so squeaky your brain would have no respect for anything it says. Speed the voice up until it sounds as if it is talking gibberish. While doing this begin to notice the positive effect you are experiencing and how self motivational you have become. If you are seeing negative images with the voices then drain any colour from the image, shrink it down to a tiny dot and then kick it off into the distance.

Another great technique that self motivational people use to diffuse the impact of the negative words and images is to get them out of your head and onto paper. Write them all down as if you are sucking them out of your head. Once you have done that, if you have the facility then shred the piece of paper. Then take the shreds and burn them (in a safe way of course) and watch as you have destroyed these negative thoughts and see how empowered and self motivational you become.

If you have particularly negative thoughts which keep recurring then you may have to take them on head on. While relaxing close your eyes and think back to a time when you have dealt successfully with a negative situation. Just see, hear and feel the inner resources you used to deal with the situation. Now bring those images, sounds and feelings back to the current negative voices and know that you can apply them equally well to this situation. Believe me if you tell your subconscious that you have the resources to overcome them it will take on those inner voices and will find a solution. If you want some more ideas take a look at my self motivational booklist.

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Self Motivational Way to Manage Stress

Posted on July 28th, 2009 by admin in Self Techniques

You can clearly distinguish self motivational people by the way they manage stressful situations. One of the main reasons we may be easily stressed in a given situation is because we readily associate with it. What does that mean? It means we find it difficult to stand back and take an objective view of the situation. We use most if not all of our senses to absorb ourselves in the situation and thus if it is a negative situation our emotions become overwhelmed. On the other hand self motivational people appear to achieve an inner peace when all around them negative influences are going on. They have a clearer perspective on what is going on rather than just a bunch of mixed up emotions.

In the first instance self motivational people become observers of what is happening around them. They decide to gather as much information about the situation before they decide on and take action. Self motivational people get highly curious about what is going on even in a negative situation. They want to learn what is happening and try to understand what is happening. If you are familiar with Stephen Covey’s book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” (see my self motivational book list). You will know that one of the habits he recommends is “Seek First to Understand then be Understood”. So as observers they are dissociated from the situation and in a better place to take a more realistic view of what is happening.

The secong thing that self motivational people do is to remain objective. That is they don’t pre-judge the situation waiting till they have all the relevant information before they take a decision and then act. They remain unbiased and are not quick to critisize as many of the rest of us do. Self motivational people also exhibit a sense of compassion rather than just coldly judging people.

When I say that self motivational people act as observers and stay objective they don’t just do that about others. They do the same about themselves in any given situation. This is the real skill of being dissociated in any situation to arrive at the right conclusion. This is why we notice that self motivational people appear to have that inner peace even in particularly negative situations. It also explains why self motivational people always seem to make the right decisions in any given situation. Try it yourself next time you are in a stressful situation, stand back and be an observer and take an objective view. You will notice yourself becoming more self motivational.

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Self Motivational - Face your Internal Resistance

Posted on July 25th, 2009 by admin in Self Techniques

One of the key traits which stand out in self motivational people is their ability to manage internal resistance. Many people follow the usual steps of self improvement by focusing on goals and drawing up plans to achieve them. Then they get stuck and the most common reason is internal resistance. Why does this happen? Because we really like to stay within our comfort zone. Quite often we spend more time building monuments of resistance and doubt rather than expending the energy on shooting for our goals. Self motivational people are first aware that this can happen and secondly work on avoiding it.

Many of us just react to circumstance and just default to taking the easy option. We of course have to generate excuses to justify this action or lack of it to ourselves. “Its not my fault so I can’t do anything about it.” “I haven’t got time there are too many urgent things to be done.” “I haven’t got enough money to do something about it.” Recognise any of that? Self motivational people refuse to allow that internal dialogue to bog them down. They look at it positively and say “OK that’s my subconscious trying to protect me” They will look to see what does that thinking give you what sort of comfort does it offer. Then they will put in place actions which will move them forward but also provide a benefit to them. For example “I can’t give up smoking because many of my friends around me smoke” OK you are transferring the blame and/or putting up a fear that you could lose friends if you change your habits. Self motivational people would look to expand their circle of friends to include mainly non smokers. Then when they kick the habit try to help some of their original friends do the same. What a great feeling of empowerment that would give you.

How can you start to be more self motivational? Take a look at some changes you have made, no matter how simple or trivial. Realise that you overcame some internal resistance or doubts to achieve that. Then be confident that you achieved it once so you can do it again and see how you can generate some momentum. If you want some more support take a look at my self motivational book list.

 

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Self Worth is Key to Being Self Motivational

Posted on June 16th, 2009 by admin in Self Techniques

No matter how successful we feel we are we need to be mindful of our self worth if we are to be self motivational. It is possible for that nagging inner voice to start you off on a downward spiral which convinces you that you are not worthy even if you are receiving positive feedback from all around.

So how do self motivational people work on their self worth? In the first instance they look after themselves by ensuring they eat healthily, exercise regularly and avoid abuse of their mind and body with excess stimulants eg alcohol. The message they are sending to their brain is that they are of value and if you don’t respect your mind and body then how can you expect anyone else to? Another thing that self motivational people do is to reward themselves for the positive things that they do to reinforce their self worth through self recognition. While it is easy to get caught up in the drive to achieve our goals we need to take time out to reward ourselves as we achieve smaller milestones along the way and also to remember to smell the roses along the way.

A key way to build and sustain our self worth is to selflessly do things for others without any expectation of return or reward other than the satisfaction of helping others. So again self motivational people take time out from their sometimes hectic lives of striving for their goals to do some good in their community. This may be a charitable act for a particular group or simply an act of kindness to one individual. Self motivated individuals will increase their self worth by continually looking for new knowledge or skills to enhance their ability to make a contribution to the world.

The greatest way to build our self worth is to tell ourselves that we love ourselves. Often people say this is being narcissistic and there is a danger if that is all you do to address your self worth. But remember if you don’t think it is important to love yourself why should others even begin to like you. It is about that inner voice again sending the right messages to your subconscious mind to make sure you are in the best shape to make a contribution to the world as a self motivational person.

For further ideas on being self motivational take a look at my self motivational book list.

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