Self Motivational Way to Manage Stress

Posted on July 28th, 2009 by admin in Self Techniques

You can clearly distinguish self motivational people by the way they manage stressful situations. One of the main reasons we may be easily stressed in a given situation is because we readily associate with it. What does that mean? It means we find it difficult to stand back and take an objective view of the situation. We use most if not all of our senses to absorb ourselves in the situation and thus if it is a negative situation our emotions become overwhelmed. On the other hand self motivational people appear to achieve an inner peace when all around them negative influences are going on. They have a clearer perspective on what is going on rather than just a bunch of mixed up emotions.

In the first instance self motivational people become observers of what is happening around them. They decide to gather as much information about the situation before they decide on and take action. Self motivational people get highly curious about what is going on even in a negative situation. They want to learn what is happening and try to understand what is happening. If you are familiar with Stephen Covey’s book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” (see my self motivational book list). You will know that one of the habits he recommends is “Seek First to Understand then be Understood”. So as observers they are dissociated from the situation and in a better place to take a more realistic view of what is happening.

The secong thing that self motivational people do is to remain objective. That is they don’t pre-judge the situation waiting till they have all the relevant information before they take a decision and then act. They remain unbiased and are not quick to critisize as many of the rest of us do. Self motivational people also exhibit a sense of compassion rather than just coldly judging people.

When I say that self motivational people act as observers and stay objective they don’t just do that about others. They do the same about themselves in any given situation. This is the real skill of being dissociated in any situation to arrive at the right conclusion. This is why we notice that self motivational people appear to have that inner peace even in particularly negative situations. It also explains why self motivational people always seem to make the right decisions in any given situation. Try it yourself next time you are in a stressful situation, stand back and be an observer and take an objective view. You will notice yourself becoming more self motivational.

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Self Motivational - Face your Internal Resistance

Posted on July 25th, 2009 by admin in Self Techniques

One of the key traits which stand out in self motivational people is their ability to manage internal resistance. Many people follow the usual steps of self improvement by focusing on goals and drawing up plans to achieve them. Then they get stuck and the most common reason is internal resistance. Why does this happen? Because we really like to stay within our comfort zone. Quite often we spend more time building monuments of resistance and doubt rather than expending the energy on shooting for our goals. Self motivational people are first aware that this can happen and secondly work on avoiding it.

Many of us just react to circumstance and just default to taking the easy option. We of course have to generate excuses to justify this action or lack of it to ourselves. “Its not my fault so I can’t do anything about it.” “I haven’t got time there are too many urgent things to be done.” “I haven’t got enough money to do something about it.” Recognise any of that? Self motivational people refuse to allow that internal dialogue to bog them down. They look at it positively and say “OK that’s my subconscious trying to protect me” They will look to see what does that thinking give you what sort of comfort does it offer. Then they will put in place actions which will move them forward but also provide a benefit to them. For example “I can’t give up smoking because many of my friends around me smoke” OK you are transferring the blame and/or putting up a fear that you could lose friends if you change your habits. Self motivational people would look to expand their circle of friends to include mainly non smokers. Then when they kick the habit try to help some of their original friends do the same. What a great feeling of empowerment that would give you.

How can you start to be more self motivational? Take a look at some changes you have made, no matter how simple or trivial. Realise that you overcame some internal resistance or doubts to achieve that. Then be confident that you achieved it once so you can do it again and see how you can generate some momentum. If you want some more support take a look at my self motivational book list.

 

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